Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Randomize
