Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Randomize
