maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
