his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
