How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
sarcasm needs its own font
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
