Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
