Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
