chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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