Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
