So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
