I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
