I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
