I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
ok first of all what the fuck
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
