He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
then he tried to convert me to islam
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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