I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
i think i just lost a toe
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