So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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