when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Life is so much better after having sex.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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