Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i just google imaged poop.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
