If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
You are a genius and a whore.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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