Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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