We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just saw a hot homeless man
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
