my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
