Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
