my soul wont recognize me after tonight
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
That's how pantless uber rides happen
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
