The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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