Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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