Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
