Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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