i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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