i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
