as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
