Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
