would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
