No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
