A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
