Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
