You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
