READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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