I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
