Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
the condom got lost in my hair
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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