shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
