Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
