I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
im calling her cock vulture from now on
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
