That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
