Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
