Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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