We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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