i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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