I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
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