I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
