I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
